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fic: not her way, nc-17

Title: Not Her Way
Author: purely_distel
Rating: NC-17
Characters/Pairings: Arthur/Gwen, Arthur/Morgana, Morgana/Gwen
Disclaimer: not mine, it all belongs to the strawberries!
Author's Note: Written for the Get Arthur and Gwen Laid Campaign after a prompt from threemeows. It turned out a bit longer and different than I thought it would, so I'm posting it here. I have a handful of other drabbles for the campaign and will post them all in one go once the fun is over :D
Summary: Arthur/Gwen/Morgana. Because Morgana can't have either of them anymore, she watches them. ;)

For Morgana things had, in most respects, always been the same. Her entire life one endless string of repetitive expectancies that she went through obediently and with a cold grace, just like a lady should. Sometimes, she even imagined herself excited about certain events only to realise that, in the end, they weren't all that different from what she had experienced two weeks before, and the month before that and the one previous to the last. Even the people she has met are, to her, mostly the same.

Either they are well-off noble folk that are too drunk on their own brilliance to realise anything but themselves or they are peasants, looking at her with either adoration, distaste or fear. But all of them, all of them do have one thing in common and that is the undeniable believe that she, Morgana LeFay, in her entire live never went without. Whatever she wanted, they believed, she got.

If only they knew how very wrong they were.


As a little girl, new to the castle she had looked up to Arthur. Though older than him, the way he held himself without fear had been something she always wanted to accomplish herself. Though, over the years, she had grown out of her adoration, found the young prince more obnoxious and annoying most times, the fact of the matter was he had always tickled something deep within her. There was always something that never made her not care, how ever aloof she sometimes treated him. With the years passing, both of them growing into adults, their easy sibling-ship had not changed, not on the outside. But Morgana, when she was able to sleep, found herself sometimes dreaming of his rough voice, his strong hands and that slightly cocky laughter all the while feeling the place she imagined him touching her burn furiously.

She had always hoped to find herself in his arms at some point and the fact that most of the kingdom seemed to believe the same thing had her anticipate it even more.


In the nights the kings son didn't fill her mind, someone else wound their way into her heated dreams. This one gentle and kind, quick and sure with her fingers but never taking, always giving and Morgana relished in the feeling of love and fulfilment and strength she felt from their nightly encounters, never even stopped to ask why it wasn't a man in her dream but why she felt herself sob with happy ecstasy at the hands of her own handmaiden, her friend.

She would be lying in bed, in the middle of the night, knowing her Gwen was not far from her, a word, a sound would have her by her side and so she imagined, her pale hands wandering over the skin of her heated body, finding places, touching. She imagined saying Gwen's name, having her enter with worry over her friend. She would come to her bedside, wondering what was amiss and Morgana would reach up and touch her dark skin, trace a finger over her full lips and Gwen would stare in wonder, her eyes wide but mysteriously dark.

In the mornings, when Morgana would wake up, her hair a mess and her body unsated, she would not dare ask Gwen to her room for a long time.


And so the days and weeks and years went by and Morgana changed, found something else to stimulate her quick mind. No need to rely on the gossipy chatter of noble women any more while exchanging rolling eyes and heavy looks with Gwen, or the unsatisfactory dances that would never bring her close to the man she desired. But even out on the road, following a path to righteousness with her true sister, the dreams did not pass. No longer at the mercy of uncertain, often times frightful nightly visions, they were more vivid than ever and Morgana was more than grateful for her sisters watchful eye for she made her realise there was a way to help satisfy the deep burning, even if just a little, without the help of someone else.


Upon returning to Camelot, Morgana learned that several things now stood between her and the fulfilment of her deepest desires.

She noticed the little glances and longing gazes exchanged between Gwen, her Gwen and Arthur … her Arthur. Suddenly what she always believed to be hers was theirs and when she found out that Arthur was her brother in more ways than before, she had to accept that the hopes she had carried deep within her for the longest time would never find release.


When it happened, it happened suddenly and without any kind of meddling or probing. Morgana was on her way to meet with Morgause, her long cloak billowing behind her, giving her comfort, that she happened upon them in the stables.

She had been silent, quietly making her way as to not alert the guards. So the heavy, deep panting and slight moans caught her attention at once. Not for one moment did she mistake them for two strangers. Too often had she imagined exactly what she was hearing now, too many times had she longed for it.

Her first impulse was to leave. It was not proper, it was not right. But more so – it was them. They were hers, not theirs. But when she heard Gwen murmur Arthur's name, she felt her feet creeping forward, her body moving in the direction of their voices.

They were down deep, in the far corner where one of Arthur's mares had her place. Arthur had pushed Gwen against the stable door, his neck fiercely sucking the flesh of her neck and one of his hands lovingly caressing her tits. Their breathing was heavy and their movement frantic.
Morgana herself moved into the shadows and though she knew she shouldn't for too many reasons, her eyes did not move.

She followed the path of Arthurs hand up Gwens leg that was hooked around his, pushing up her skirts, she took in Gwen sucking Arthurs earlobe into her mouth, biting down on it, slightly, heard a stifled groan and wasn't sure if it was hears or theirs.

Watching them, so wrapped up in each other, she felt her skin prickle. She imagined it was her leg his handled travelled on, vanishing in the depths of her skirts, making her pant with want and need. It was her that was kissing Gwen, her tongue tracing the bottom lip of the other girl, plunging in deep before retreating, the movements a mirror of her fingers, buried deeply in the wet, dark warmth of her.

When Arthur began to gather up Gwens dress in earnest, she felt herself doing the same. Leaning against the wall, her hands were going the same way his were and once she found the small knob between her legs, her hand began a movement on its own. Going slow when they were, faster with their movements. Everything in one rhythm.

Gwen had her hand on Arthurs breaches now, hastily opening them, shoving them away and in the same moment, taking his hard cock into her hand. Morgana saw with trembling legs how Arthurs face contorted in pleasure when Gwen pumped down hard, her thump doing a swirling motion on the moist head. The movements of Morgana's fingers were matching Gwen now and for her, it was Gwen fingering her opening, tracing along the thick lips of her slid, darting in for a few, short, blissful moments before returning to her clit, rubbing, flicking and moist with her juice.

“Guinevere!” Arthur strangled gasp broke her daydream and Morgana swallowed hard at the need in his voice. Her fingers still at work, she watches as Arthur grabbed Gwens hips and lifted her up. As if the other girl knew what was going on, her legs went around his waist and before Morgana had time to prepare herself, Gwen gave a slightly louder, satisfied sound, her hands diving deep into Arthurs hair, kissing him deep.

Suddenly, for a short moment, there was silence. Morgana was sure she knew what had happened before, what Arthur and Gwen had tried to accomplish through him lifting her but why stop now? Her fingers stilled just as they did, her wrapped around him, his arms holding her. Kissing. Slowly, deeply. Just kissing.

Then, after what felt to Morgana like a lifetime, Arthur's hips began moving. Slowly at first, long, controlled strokes that made Morgana shiver all the way up her body, her fingers matching the agonising pace, a tightness in her stomach.

They broke their kiss slowly, still with no haste. Gwen was moving her body as best she could to match the rhythm and her forehead settled against his and she smiled.

Morgana felt her hands fall away from between her legs. That smile. Morgana had seen it on her friend before.

“I love you, Arthur.”

Though Morgana had known, from the moment she had seen the smile, it was coming, it did nothing to prepare her for the blow she felt. Without reason or logic, for this situation had none to begin with, she gathered up her skirt and turned around, fleeing the scene in such haste that she hardly heard Arthur repeating the words of love.

It hadn't just been a passing fancy. It hadn't just been Arthur meaning to bed a girl. It hadn't even just been a short-lived passion. It had been intimate and true and, though lacking romance, so utterly real, she felt for the first time as if she had done something wrong. It was theirs, and not hers, it was them and always would be and, now on foot heading to the place deep in the woods were Morgause would be waiting for her, Morgana realised, there would never be space for her. Not the way there maybe should be and certainly never the way she had always hoped for.


( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
Oct. 18th, 2010 11:42 pm (UTC)
This was actually a little heartbreaking, poor Morgana her fantasies suddenly turned painfully real when she discovered that it was love and not lust which drove Arthur and Gwen together. Excellent done..:)
Oct. 18th, 2010 11:44 pm (UTC)
Thanks a lot! :D I didn't even plan it that way but it seemed to fit. not to mention I'm a A/Gler at heart so it always is difficult for me to ... not make them the main deal? ^^
Oct. 18th, 2010 11:47 pm (UTC)
Believe me, I'm all for making them the main deal lol!
Oct. 18th, 2010 11:56 pm (UTC)
good girl :P
Oct. 19th, 2010 12:07 am (UTC)
Wow, this did end sadly. It was erotic and touching at the same time. I felt so sorry for Morgana, having so many frustrations, and never getting them fulfilled. Poor girl.

Great fic! I enjoyed it.
Oct. 19th, 2010 02:24 pm (UTC)
Wow, great comment! Thanks a lot! :D And, if in a fic like this or in the show, I cannot help but still feel for Morgana, as much as she annoys me half the time as well ^^
Oct. 19th, 2010 01:39 am (UTC)
Hot and sad Poor Morgana
Oct. 19th, 2010 02:23 pm (UTC)
yeah ... I cannot help but feel sad for her, not unlike Merlin ^^

Oct. 19th, 2010 03:30 am (UTC)
ditto grlmonday!

It was erotic and touching at the same time.

BEAUTIFUL WORK! thanks! =)
Oct. 19th, 2010 02:22 pm (UTC)
great that I accomplished that! :D Or, well, more that you guys see it that way, too.

Thanks for the lovely comment :)
Oct. 19th, 2010 11:22 am (UTC)
I agree; hot, but sad at the same time.

Great work btw.
Oct. 19th, 2010 02:22 pm (UTC)
thank you *hugs*
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )